COLUMN: ‘Why dogs? Why snow dogs? Why not?’

Here is my weekly column for the Sunday, Oct. 4, 2009 edition of the Hibbing Daily Tribune. I post this in advance of my Thursday night lecture at the Minnesota Discovery Center in Chisholm as part of the “Snow Dogs” exhibit and lecture series. Me, talking about snowmobiling? Yes. Don’t ask why (drink Bud Dry?).

Why dogs? Why snow dogs? Why not?
By Aaron J. Brown

When encountering rare, exotic or expensive breeds of dogs, folks more accustomed to mutts often react confoundedly. “Why on earth would they make a dog like that?”
Why is this dog so long? Why is it so small? Why does the book say the dog’s legs shatter if they hop off the bed or that they need a heart transplant after their first breeding season because they’re only supposed to live to be 2 (14 in dog years). What are anal glands and why must I express them? (Don’t ask me why I’ve heard of this). Dog breeds are living examples of the power and folly of humankind.

So why do we consider machines any differently? Motorcycles, ATVs and snowmobiles are glorious creations – central to northern Minnesota’s tourism and enjoyment of the North Woods – but these devices are, in essence, as rational as the Pomeranian, the Great Dane or Shih Tzu. Lovely, but illogical. Vital, and yet dispensable with the right combination of job loss, car payment, mortgage or blown transmission.

Like many who grew up on the Iron Range, I was raised around improbable machines like the 3-wheeler (Ha!), 4-wheeler, motorcycle and snowmobile. I say “improbable” not because they are without value but because they exist within the limited parameters of people with time on their hands. One working overtime, one working nights, one with newborn twins and a day job, well, such a person is not riding the trails or tuning up the machine right now, unless one is truly dedicated and/or willing to risk personal relationships for the hobby. Many are willing to endure the risks, but mostly because of an ancient human truth: to go fast is to go awesome cool (I paraphrase).

Let me focus in on snowmobiles as they remain the machine of choice as we enter the winter months. I know a lot of people who like to ride snow machines (as they are properly called in knowledgeable circles). All of these people share a similar story. “Blah blah blah, something happened, and then we were stuck in the middle of nowhere and thought we were going to die.” Usually the story is told with bravado, combined with scorn for the first person in the group who broke down. This would be the person who admitted that, yes, we might die of exposure to the bitter winds of northern Minnesota, our snow suits powerless against the tidal wave of natural elements conspiring to break down our natural defenses and stop our hearts cold. Maybe there was weeping or uncomfortable male hugging. Maybe tender words of friendship might have been exchanged, letters to spouses written with pencils because pens had long since frozen. And maybe it was then that another friend, a more virile and masculine friend, determined that a simple adjustment to the spark plug might restart the machine, saving all and preserving the tradition of almost dying for fun for the next generation.

I wish I could say that I understood. Instead I choose to abide. I understand the appeal of going really fast on a thing that sounds like a cougar on amphetamines, I just don’t understand why one would want to do so in the cold – the worst of cold, when a face mask determines whether or not you’ll remain recognizable to your mother.

Then again, I think of my dog, Molly. She is an improbable hound, small and lovable, ultimately defensible. Her leg pops out of joint sometimes, owing to her breeding, but hey, you can’t dispute that she’s a lot of fun on the right kind of day. Why stress over a slipped tread? What more could you want from a dog, a machine, or anything under this increasingly distant sun.

Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune. Contact him or read more at his blog MinnesotaBrown.com. His recent book “Overburden: Modern Life on the Iron Range” is out now. He will be speaking at 6 p.m. this upcoming Thursday, Oct. 8 at the Minnesota Discovery Center in Chisholm for “Iron Dogs: Snowmobiling in Minnesota.”

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