America’s Funniest Home Videos could broadcast an endless loop of trampoline accidents. Your local emergency room doctor owns at least one vehicle paid for by the victims of trampoline accidents. And yet, our nation’s fascination with trampolines continues.
For some, trampolines provide the simple hope that the kids burn enough energy to at some point sit quietly or perhaps even sleep. For others, trampolines become escalations in a shared custody Cold War. (“Look, I bet mom doesn’t have of these at *her* house.”)
Insurance adjusters shake at the sight of one. Middle aged people enticed to join the fun know full well that five minutes on this trampoline will result in their joints being replaced with metal facsimiles.
But there’s one thing working favor of trampolines. In case you forgot, they go:
BOUNCYBOUNCYBOUNCY BOUNCYBOUNCYBOUNCY WHEEEEEE!!!!!!
And Northern Minnesota is getting in on the action.
The Planet 3 Extreme Air Park, an indoor trampoline facility, will open this summer in the former Grainger Industrial Supply warehouse in West Duluth.
The West Duluth trampoline park will feature interconnected floor-level padded trampolines, a large open jump area, a trampoline dodgeball stadium, basketball dunk centers, pits filled with foam cubes for jumping, a slack line and a multi-lane ninja warrior course, according to Planet 3’s announcement.
The park’s trampolines are designed to provide “active entertainment for all ages, shapes and sizes,” and the park will offer activities that include open jump time, trampoline dodgeball competitions, dunk ball, ninja courses and fitness classes, the company said. Every Friday and Saturday night, the park plans to transform into a club-like setting with black and laser lights for jumpers of all ages.
The park will be able to host birthday parties, corporate team building events and field trips. [Planet 3 developer Mo] Haretuku said Planet 3’s trampoline parks are also popular fundraising locations.
Haretuku, the trampoline park developer, said that his company looks for markets with growing tourism and millennial populations, two big demographics for trampolines. He said the parks are fun for families, but also serve as good opportunities for exercise.
The story also lists the trampoline park as being “for all sizes,” which somehow seems directed at me.
Even though it’ll kill me, I’ll sign the waiver. I’ll jump. Destiny requires it.