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A season of rejuvenation and low expectations
Amazingly, I’ve managed to make it through most of March still believing it’s winter. This is a first for me. Usually I dupe myself into believing that spring will arrive early. Then, northern Minnesota’s most sadistic season again crushes my hopes. As the Buddhists say, desire is the root of all suffering. I’m learning. People…
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Pork: the other fight meat
Whenever I see classmates move to Florida or former co-workers relocated to Texas, they always go on about the weather. Isn’t it nice to be warm? And I suppose “warm” is better than 25 below, but at what cost? American author Truman Capote once said, “It’s a scientific fact that if you stay in California…
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Saving our energy for the future
The other day actor Will Ferrell appeared on my television screen to say that General Motors is going electric. You don’t have to be a business expert to realize that by the time a company hires Buddy the Elf to star in a Super Bowl ad, a large strategic move is already well underway. Within…
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Beaver dams inspire bad ideas
Setting off an explosion that floods your neighbors’ property sounds bad. I guess it is bad. But I see how it might happen. Last month in northern Michigan’s Montmorency County, a man shoved a large block of Tannerite into a beaver dam near his property. Tannerite is a kind of explosive used in firearm targets.…
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Rich town, poor town
A century ago, Iron Range communities like Hibbing, Virginia and Eveleth drew the ire of conservative business and political minds for their lavish spending on public works and education. Hibbing even boasted the nickname “the Richest Village on Earth” for its ability to levy enormous tax revenues off of the unfathomable wealth of nearby…
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In a beastly world, beauty is precious
I recently found myself in one of these modern hotel ballrooms, the Bougie kind of space that half the population never sees unless they are paid to clean it. Amid a roiling sea of business chatter I looked up at the ceiling the way a sailor might note the moon through a gap in storm…
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Get wise to the age
I tend not to subscribe to doom and gloom. Even as real world problems stack up, I know from history and experience that humans remain a crafty species, capable of adapting to all sorts of hardships. But there is one area where I think we struggle more than we know. As we humans grind through…
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Shoulda, coulda, woulda
It’s tempting to imagine alternate realities. We hear talk of the “multiverse,” a philosophical theory suggesting that infinite parallel universes exist, one for every imaginable outcome. The animated show “Rick and Morty” explores the multiverse with hilarious nihilism. But that’s not the only place we dabble in the multiverse. You don’t have to be well…
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Grading on a curve
When our boys were younger we went on vacation to the Black Hills of South Dakota. We took them to one of those old timey Gold Mine attractions where they got to pan for real gold in authentic local sludge from a nearby creek. The tour guide told us we could keep any gold we…
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Bass-booming dinos warn against historical assumptions
People have an odd relationship with time. The future, as imagined, seems dreadful. Can’t believe how bad it will be, especially for other people, doubly so for the children. Maybe our children, but especially other people’s children. Those little bastards really have it coming. The past, meanwhile, was ideal. Don’t you remember how it used…
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Return to suffering
This isn’t the sports page, so I hesitate to talk about sports. Not everyone scorches time tracking the intricacies of professional athletics. There are more important things in the world, such as gambling and Netflix. But I think everyone understands the nature of disappointment and suffering. If we’re being honest with ourselves, we’ve all stared…
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The future comes free in 2023
“Grey’s Anatomy” is a lie, I tell myself. There is nothing less sexy than an actual hospital. Soiled linens. Tubes pumping who knows what into heaven knows where. Some patients gasp for life; others whine for a better breakfast. Beleaguered staff members might collapse in a heap were it not for the slurry of adrenaline…
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‘Gaslight,’ ‘denier’ top words for 2022; no, really!
If an abuser can’t control their partner, they might instead try to control their reality. To control reality is the ultimate power, one easily exploited in the wrong hands. So it can’t possibly be a good sign that the Merriam-Webster Dictionary lists “gaslight” as its 2022 word of the year. Nor can we be any…
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For the unmerry on Christmas
As Dec. 25 approaches, regional writers of my ilk begin searching for whimsical ways to describe a Christmas holiday that so dominates America’s public calendar. In previous years I’ve penned stories about my kids, shared my own Christmas memories or tried my hand at holiday farce. Obviously not everybody celebrates Christmas in the religious sense,…
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The true stories and lasting injustices of ‘the noble experiment’
United States history remembers the period between 1920 and 1933 as Prohibition. During these years the U.S. Constitution barred the production and sale of alcohol. Historically speaking, thirteen years is neither a short time nor a long time. It’s an aberrant generation, frozen in time. Prohibition became the only constitutional amendment to be repealed. This…