Buck up, Dollar!

Buck up, dollar
By Aaron J. Brown

A dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to. The dollar is “weak” right now. That’s according to stern-looking smart people on those obscure financial channels up in the 8,000s on your cable or satellite service. I think the one guy was wearing suspenders and a bow tie. So it must be true. Money from other countries is forming a circle around the dollar in the dark alley of international currency exchange. The British pound brandishes a chain. The Euro sharpens its shiv. The loonie slaps a homemade club against its palm. Even the hapless peso laughs menacingly at our weakened dollar while the yen burns holes in George Washington’s face with its eyes.

As much as I’d like to fake my way through a discussion of international currency, what I really want to talk about is how far we can make a dollar go during these tough economic times. Can a dollar get us through breakfast? Can a dollar sprout wheels and get me to work? No, but a dollar can win me a rifle in a Cub Scout raffle. What does that say?

We have to keep matters of currency in perspective. I may not be an expert but I have observed that what we perceive as “a lot” in this country is “not a lot” in other countries. Some currencies measure units in the tens of thousands. In Zimbabwe, one American dollar equals 30 million Zimbabwean dollars. With high food prices and under stocked stores, people there now pay hundreds of millions just for one meal’s worth of bread. A couple hundred million dollars here buys you an NHL franchise. Not a good one but, you know; there’s a bar in the VIP box.

For Americans, there’s just something magical about the dollar. As a kid, a crisp green dollar unleashes untold powers in the candy section of the local store, the only place that really matters. First the little pennies saved turn to nickels and dimes, then to the big round quarters with the man who looks like your friend’s grandma on it. Four friend’s grandmas and you can trade them in for … a dollar. And, oh, that first kid dollar can buy anything. A helicopter. Your dead pet’s reanimation. An army of ninjas. That country on the news that you think sounds like I’veGotaStan but that your parents say is Afghanistan but that when you buy it you’ll rename I’veGotaStan because you’ve got a dollar and that’s how it’s gonna’ be from now on.

It’s no wonder businesspeople keep their first dollar earned. Even businesses that fail probably wait until the last possible moment before cracking open that frame and shipping the first dollar off to the bill collector. For the optimistic, be they children or entrepreneurs, a dollar is everything.

I wonder if dollar stores keep their first dollar. Is that too predictable? Too cute? I bet they don’t. Dollar stores exist because of a far more adult, far more cynical view of the dollar. A dollar is nothing, they imply. Look at me, says a candle on the shelf. I don’t look like much, but I’m only a dollar. A dollar is nothing. You don’t need me but you don’t need that dollar either so let’s help this cashier in the humiliating vest make quota tonight. And look, I have a matching plate, says the candle. It’s only a dollar.

Yes, these are hard times for the dollar but let’s show it a little respect. You can do a lot with a dollar and if you’re smart, dollars beget more dollars. That’s the beauty of the system, the genius of hard work combined with compounding interest. It all works perfectly so long as we have faith in the Almighty Dollar. An illusion perhaps, but the dollars that visit my bank account every two weeks keep my lights on. Shine on, Mr. Washington.

Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune. Read more or contact him at www.minnesotabrown.com.