COLUMN: The good life isn’t always cute

This is my column for today’s edition of the Hibbing Daily Tribune. It would appear that a major family announcement for the Gosselins is slated for Monday, so this ended up being pretty topical.

The good life isn’t always cute
By Aaron J. Brown

Our twin boys are hitting age 2 soon and one thing is certain. Nobody asks us about “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” anymore. For the uninitiated, that’s the TLC show that follows around a family with a set of twins and sextuplets (get it … eight). If you weren’t familiar with the show before, you probably hear plenty now about the couple’s marital woes and family drama in the tabloids and entertainment shows.

A little more than a year ago I wrote about “Jon and Kate” in the context of our life with multiples. Back then I remarked on how so many people were always asking us if we watched the show.

“Oh, goodness gracious, can you imagine having eight of these little guys?” “They sure have their hands full,” “Oh, for cute,” and so on and so on. The comments rolled in from all manner of passers-by, each more insufferably well-intentioned than the last. Our busy family of three young boys reminded them of something they had seen on television, which is the conversation starter of our times.

Now, not so much. No one wants to say, “I was watching a dysfunctional family on some cable show the other day that totally reminded us of you guys.” Jon and Kate Gosselin are clearly going through some hard times that most people wouldn’t want to experience in front of millions of viewers. To tell the truth, this “season” I’ve been feeling guilty about watching the show at all, like it was surveillance footage of my angry neighbors as they approach a legal separation (NOTE: My actual neighbors are doing fine, are not angry and I do not spy on them). Increasingly the program seems dependent on contrived situations that involve several semi-famous people standing in between Jon and Kate, preventing any sort of unpleasant communication.

During the “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” heyday of, um, last year I guess, the show represented a sort of utopian vision of how modern life with a big family could be. The parents would be interesting and find ways to remain connected. The kids would be adorable and content. The stress would be bearable and nothing bad would ever really happen. To top it off, each year the family’s home would get bigger and their finances more secure even as no one ever went to a job outside the home. That, my friends, was a concept worthy of any major political campaign.

I’m not here to pile on the mounting criticism of Jon and Kate the couple, Jon and Kate as individuals, the show, the network or society. I feel like, in all that, I gave at the office. Or in my case, at the house. It’s stressful having a large young family. This has been true since the cavemen figured out how to keep those pink squiggly critters alive through infancy. These kids have needs. You have to feed them. You have to teach them how to be functional humans, or at least you should.

Then, as the modern age marches on there are just more and more things to worry about. Now it’s not enough to keep them alive and functional. They’ve got to be witty, too. Witty in an urbane sort of “Prairie Home Companion” way. You know, subtle. And also smart. And with large motor skills. And the hockey camps, swimming lessons and also your relationship must grow with changes.

That’s not easy for anyone, especially if you live life in the public eye. In that way TV is like Midas’ drunken, unstable brother Midos, whose touch poisons instead of turning to gold.

When I started this column I had intended for it to be cute. This isn’t very cute. But hey, life can still be good, even if not cute. Ours is.

Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune. Contact him or read more at his blog MinnesotaBrown.com. His book “Overburden: Modern Life on the Iron Range” is out now.

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