The nine circles of hell. You know, for fun.

This Lapham’s Quarterly graphic clarifies the nine circles of Hell as depicted in Dante’s Inferno. (“Abandon All Hope, You Who Enter Here,” etc.).

Do you fear Hell? Do you want someone else to go there? Well, name your sin (your dominant sin, that is) as you’ll know which circle of hell you’ll go to and what Beelzebub plans to do with you.

Being a corrupt politician gets you all the way in to the eighth circle, to immersed in boiling pitch. Being “sullen” apparently is enough to get you to the fifth circle, sunk to the bottom of the River Styx.

It strikes me that Hell has some zoning issues. There’s some pretty heavy thugs up there in the seventh circle but down in the ninth (the Pit of Hell) you’ve got Brutus, Cassius and Judas Iscariot being chewed endlessly in Lucifer’s jaws. Then, RIGHT NEXT to that, you’ve got “Betrayers of Guests.”

“What’d you do?”

“I stole money from some guy’s wallet when I was a hotel maid.”

“What’s that sound?”

“Judas crunching.”



  1. “It strikes me that Hell has some zoning issues.” Spit out my tea, hit the keyboard! Good to know we’re not the only ones with zoning issues.

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