My moustache mistake

I made a dumb mistake in my column yesterday. In a (mostly) satirical column I suggested that Minnesota trade its high-profile Republican Gov. Tim Pawlenty to North Dakota for its Republican Gov. John Hoeven, a bunch of steaks and two nuclear weapons. In the column I say that Minnesota hasn’t had a governor with a moustache in a long time and “we’re due.”

Well, diligent readers will surely point out soon that Gov. Jesse Ventura had a moustache and he left office just five years ago. This was a stupid mistake for a “journalist” like myself, but here’s the thing … in the moment I wrote that column, I actually forgot that Ventura was our governor. This is significant. He was the most famous person to ever hold the office of Minnesota governor and probably the only pro wrestler ever to be elected to a statewide office anywhere. His term was mostly a bust, but he certainly made a splash.

And I forgot it happened.

I wonder if this is like a selective memory lapse, like what you use to wipe bad romantic experiences from your memory later in life. “No, I never dated a carnival worker,” one might say, if one had and wished they hadn’t.

So anyway, sorry for the mistake. I still think unloading Pawlenty for steaks would be a good move and WDIO news anchor Dennis Anderson won’t retain his high value much longer. I could see Anderson being successful in Milwaukee. Maybe we make this a three way trade and figure out a way to get some beer with those steaks.

The column is here.


  1. You heartless bastard. Dennis Anderson is our Joe Mauer. You can’t trade him, no matter how much we’d get. The riots would last for weeks.

  2. I’m just saying, he retires soon and Channel 10 can’t afford to sign a moustache like that off the free agent market.

  3. I’m just impressed you applied “mustachioed” correctly, rather than omitting the “o.”

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