COLUMN: ‘Pull the wagon forever’

This is my weekly column for the Sunday, Sept. 6 edition of the Hibbing Daily Tribune.

Pull the wagon forever
By Aaron J. Brown

When orbiting the moon, I’m told, one must mind the dark side. On the dark side of the moon there is no light, no radio contact with earth and a conceptual progressive rock sound that goes well with lasers, if Pink Floyd is to be believed.

Life is cyclical, isn’t it? Not unlike an orbit around some strange planet called “You,” one must mind the dark side. People enter phases of life that feature little contact with the outside world. We are born into such a phase. As babies, we do not care much for the human drama of the adults in our life, their blathering about work and friends and relatives. I remember President Reagan on TV. Dad said something about him. I don’t know what. “Blah, blah, blah,” we hear. Feed me. Love me. And we are often loved and sometimes fed and that is good enough until junior high. Then, the troubles.

Some time later we find ourselves grown up , cleaned up and mostly functional. Some things have happened. Very important things that might be in our obituaries some day. Maybe. It is then that we pass back into radio silence.

Our boys are now aged 4, 2 and 2. My wife and I are of that modern persuasion acknowledging an equal role in producing and raising these children. That means no paternal distance on my part, no hiding in the den wearing a smoking jacket or riding a snowmobile until the gas runs out just to walk back in silence. That doesn’t fly. Not these days. I am involved and that means being less involved in the outside world. We socialize some, not much. I am involved with some public activities, but less. Christina is pursuing some new professional opportunities, but slowly, what with the resonant roar of a house full of boys who like to burp, fart and scream. Not all the time, just very often.

Nowadays, the boys like to ride around on various contraptions in the driveway. Henry, the oldest, pilots a bike. Doug and George ride big wheels. Excuse me, Big Wheels. They are very big, the wheels and increasingly the boys. These outdoor sessions feel something like a daily mass, a routine that follows set parameters differentiated only along the margins, what goes wrong and what new things have been learned by the participants. In our case, Henry has recently learned negotiation.

Parents already know about negotiation. The line we deliver quite often goes, “five more minutes.” Five minutes isn’t that much. Five minutes gives us flexibility. Maybe we get two of the three boys inside for bath time and bed in that time, and maybe just one. Maybe it takes seven minutes to get all three. No one really knows. But the other day, Henry countered. “Daddy, I want you to pull me in the wagon forever.”

Forever. Imagine the gap between five minutes and forever. The gap far eclipses the differences we hear about health care, taxes and, for that matter, whether or not God exists. “Henry,” I say. “I don’t think I can pull the wagon forever. How about five minutes?”

“Pull the wagon forever,” Henry insists.

So I pulled the wagon. Not forever, but for a good long time. Long enough for that day’s purposes, anyway.

It’s possible that the dark side is not dark, so much. It’s possible that life is lived fully on the dark side, without the incessant blaring of radio waves, wireless signals and space trash. Indeed, it might be said that one must mind the light side of the moon. Both sides present a challenge that speaks to our character.

Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune. Contact him or read more at his blog MinnesotaBrown.com. His recent book “Overburden: Modern Life on the Iron Range” is out now.

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