When the (precious) metal ones come for you

Normally I’ll let the eccentric northern Minnesota TV advertisements go without notice here on the blog. There are just too many and one could really allow this sort of thing to consume a blog of its very own. There’s the aggressive wardrobe, hair and makeup choices of the one furniture store spokeswoman. Then there’s the repair shop that claims to be staying open just because the man is too poor to retire in this economy. (That means he’s experienced).  He throws a Forbes Magazine into a bed pan. I actually like that one.

But I cannot allow one recent ad to pass without notice. Did anyone else catch the “Second Coming Sale” ad for Superior’s LTD Jewelry on the WDIO News last night? That’s Channel 10, the ABC affiliate in Duluth. My kingdom to know how to pull this thing off my DVR onto YouTube. Anyway, cold open to storm clouds with lighting, and then direct to camera with jewelry store proprietor wearing brightly colored “jewelry” tie. He’s talking about Jesus, how Jesus is coming back and how the news these days seems to indicate that Jesus is coming back sooner than later. And then my favorite word of the whole ad, “nonetheless.” That’s why they’re have a Second Coming sale, in which everything is 50 percent off.

Do not mistake my consternation with this ad as dismissal of religion. Maybe Jesus is coming tomorrow. I’m in trouble if he does, but that’s fine. Why are we selling jewelry at all then, huh? What do the affordable holiday tennis bracelets have to do with any of this? D’aaargh! Is this real? IS THIS REAL? I had to rewind and watch it three times before I believed it really happened.

I wish I could show you this ad. Did anyone else see it?


  1. Have seen it more than once. It is absolutely unbelievable and crass. Jesus should show up in the store and start turning over the jewelry cases.

  2. I haven’t seen it, but it sounds truly nasty. A sure turn off for believers. I hope that the believers give all their money to the hungry and don’t spend any in that store. Don’t you sometimes wonder about local ad agencies? Or are these do-it-your-self ads by the Not-ready-for-NY people?

    The only furniture store spokeswoman I can remember is dressed so blah that I’d never want her to help me decorate my home. (which IS ALREADY blah and needs help.)

  3. Holy hardware is as old as the divine relics and as creepy as the shroud of Turin. Grotesquely, this dude has found a kinda new angle to sell his. *My* kingdom to see you get it on YouTube (where it will become and internet sensation the proceeds from which you can donate to people who really need Jesus).

  4. Ugh. I’ve now seen it a couple more times on WDIO, on the morning news and evening. This is a fairly high rotation ad.

    I don’t know how to extract video from my DVR to YouTube or I would post this thing IMMEDIATELY. It is that crazy, that worthy of national rebuke.

    I used to be 100 percent sure this guy was NOT kidding about his sale. Now having seen it more times I wonder if he’s only 90 percent serious. That is worse.

  5. The man in the video is actually a very nice man, very active in his church…however, I would have just loved to be in that pre-production meeting to discuss how to get that ad on air. haha

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