Governor, carp czar address Minnesota carp summit as carp fears mount

Last year this blog attempted to become the authoritative source for sarcastic commentary about the Asian carp infestation of the upper Midwest. I do believe we were successful for a time before the fame and power sent us crashing back to earth.

It’s been exactly one year since my last carp post. The carp czar has consolidated power. The lock-and-dam people stopped sending me their press releases and, after a while, the B-roll of Asian carp flying over the water surface of muddy Illinois river systems became too compelling for local TV stations to ignore. The market on Asian carp snark had bottomed out, until today.

Yesterday, Minnesota Gov. Mark Dayton held a “carp summit” calling for efforts to prevent the Asian carp from entering Minnesota. The carp czar was present. This can only mean that the state is now under the control of the carp czar!

On the other hand, Asian carp have eyeballs that are lower than their mouths. We must fall in line with the czar or enter league with the carp. This is no longer about party label. In this new world you will judged solely upon your tolerance for risk and your taste for uncooked indigenous fish spawn. I am not afraid.

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