Report: Northlanders die faster, more spectacularly than most


This Duluth News Tribune headline caught my eye: “Risk of dying is greater in the Northland.”

If you live in northern Minnesota your chances of dying this year are apparently greater than in other parts of the state. Your risk of dying in your lifetime, however, holds with the state average, which is 100 percent.

It comes down to the old question, how would you like to die? Would you like to die peacefully in your sleep at a high-end active senior energy center in the metro or eating bacon and cleaning your gun at a house that is almost paid for? For a couple hundred thousand people north of the pine line that decision has been made. We thank you all for your concern.

To recap, the cold grip of death will ensconce each of us in due time. 

(Photo: Ruthanne Reid, Creative Commons)
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3 responses to “Report: Northlanders die faster, more spectacularly than most”

  1. I don’t know, Lindsy. You breathed a lot of northern air. It doesn’t take long for that stuff to metastasize. Fortunately, being so far from Duluth you’ll be buffered from the contagious Alzheimer’s epidemic going around here.

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