Lock and dammit; the carp are coming!

Several conservation groups have recommended the closing of two Minnesota locks to prevent the spread of Asian carp, which are currently advancing up the Mississippi River. As this Pioneer Press story indicates, closing those locks is a bureaucratic nightmare unlikely to occur.

One can’t help but find in the comments of Minnesota officials a sort of parental tactic. Everybody knows the carp will get here and do carp things in our lakes. But no one wants to SAY that the carp will get here, that their inevitable advance was foretold the moment man began meddling with the natural order ages ago. “Don’t worry, little Billy, if we’re lucky the carp might not get here.”

The carp are coming. They eat algae that our native species like to eat. This will be problematic for a time, but will gradually fade into the fabric of resource management. Our cold temperatures will prevent the carp from spreading easily in the north woods. We will be alright.

Unless, of course, the carp taste flesh. Then we are in trouble.

MinnesotaBrown is the leading voice for sarcastic commentary on the Asian carp debate. Show your support by liking us on Facebook, which is known to the carp as “GlubGlub.”

Image: CleveScene

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