Reif Center release has height, width AND depth

Happy April Fool’s Day! I’m sure there are a lot of great gags out there, but my favorite so far is this press release from the Reif Center for the Performing Arts in Grand Rapids, Minnesota:

Reif Arts Council President David Marty has announced that, effective immediately, ALL performances at the Reif Performing Arts Center will be presented in 3-D.

“This is a ground-breaking announcement,” says Marty. “We believe that we are the first performing arts organization in Minnesota and probably the first in the country to make this public declaration.” He anticipates others are likely to follow as the interest in 3-D spreads. Marty adds, “The film industry embraced the 3-D movement, and the performing arts industry should share in the excitement.”

The Reif Center has spared no expense in implementing the necessary technological updates to go 3-D. Some concern has been expressed about ticket pricing.

“There was extensive discussion about possible additional charges (similar to movies), but the Reif Center Board is committed to keeping performances affordable. There will be no additional fees to experience every performance in 3-D at the Reif Center,” indicates Marty. He also reported that the 3-D technology being implemented is “100% natural and biologically safe,” and we have eliminated the need for those annoying special 3-D glasses. “Reif patrons will experience the full effect of natural 3-D performances for just the base cost of a ticket.”

Marty indicated that all artists scheduled to perform at the Reif Center in the coming year will be expected to comply with the new 3-D requirement. According to Marty, “Any living artist who insists on presenting a flat, two-dimensional performance will simply not be included in the Reif schedule.” He has yet to receive much resistance from the performing arts community in this regard, and several artists have, in fact, planned to announce that all of their future performances will be in 3-D. (All except Flat Stanley and Gumby who have both refused comment and will not be included in the upcoming season.)

However exciting the announcement, some skepticism is of course expected. One skeptic, on experiencing a 3-D performance at the Reif Center was quoted saying, “Well, it sure ain’t Avatar, but it was pretty darn good. I’ll certainly be back for more 3-D performances at the Reif.” Reif board and staff are confident that most patrons will be delighted with the announcement.

This ran in the Grand Rapids Herald-Review last night with a tease on the front page and prominently in the arts section. While I think the Herald-Review might have been in on the gag I noticed that it ran in a rather non-ironic location within the Hibbing Daily Tribune arts section today. I wonder who else bit? Good times.

PHOTO: Reif Center

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