A very mining-y baby announcement

On Tuesday, WDIO-Duluth anchor and Iron Range reporter Renee Passal made a very clever announcement that she’ll be having a baby in August. She framed it in the tone and language of a “This Week in Mining” news segment.

For those of us who grew up watching “the channel” (WDIO’s twin WIRT Channel 13 in Hibbing), hearing news about taconite prices and labor stoppages is a staple of news viewing. So, this was enjoyable. I encourage you to watch it, and then enjoy my accompanying “top ten” list below the jump. (Sorry, Renee).

“Top Ten Facts Missing from Passal-Nelson Baby Mining Venture”

Top Ten Facts Missing from the Passal-Nelson Baby Mining Venture
  1. Emergency preparations are being made to avoid a catastrophic leak in the tailings pond.
  2. Officials expect the new project to roll pig iron by Q4.
  3. After brutal takeover bid, new baby will be named Arcelor-Mittal.
  4. The finished product will emerge from a blast furnace ready for use in industry.
  5. The ore is highly valuable, despite containing only 3.5 grams of iron. 
  6. The baby will steam for three days in the back of a Canadian National hopper car before shipping.
  7. EPA approval for the new project is expected to be held up, pending a birth plan.
  8. Waste material will be stored in dumps on the edge of Mt. Iron until technology allows it to be processed into additional babies.
  9. Innovative electric arc incubator could allow baby to skip “terrible twos.”
  10. New project will create 2.5 jobs, but labor officials point out those aren’t union jobs. Every year, many mothers are crushed in the underground shafts … of life.

By all means, add your own in the comments. Keep it friendly. We like Renee. (And congratulations!) 

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