Bill would rename Asian carp; solve everything

Asian Carp threaten Great Lakes

Mike Licht, Creative Commons

This blog is nothing if not your inconsistent source for up-to-date Asian carp snark. We also cover politics. Today these worlds collide, as a bill to rename Asian carp as “invasive carp” has made its way into the hopper at the Minnesota Legislature.

UPDATE: Holy carp. They might actually to do this.

WDIO has the AP story, which indicates that the reason for the change is to avoid negative connotations of Asian people stemming from the general term for several species of carp which were imported from Asia.

This all reminds me of a sketch we did from the Great Northern Radio Show, Episode 2, in Bemidji. The carp take umbrage at their name, clarifying that they are, in fact, Asian-AMERICAN carp. Anyway, apparently I was two years ahead of the zeitgeist on that deal.

It’s hard not to see the carpism inherent in this bill. In cultural studies, we teach that the true name of a people should come from their native tongue. “What do they call themselves?” So, I highly doubt that the Asian carp would call themselves “invasive carp.” Instead, I imagine they would prefer to be known as GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB GLUB!!!!!

The story also indicates that a similar Asian carp renaming bill was proposed in Iowa, but died in committee. I’d gamble on a similar fate for this bill in Minnesota, but who knows? Perhaps this bill’s backers will choke out the ecosystem of the committee, drink up all the pitchers of ice water and lay their eggs in the giant, spinny chairs. After several spawn have hatched, their new majority will usher the bill to the floor of the house, which will try to keep the bill away with electric fencing TO NO AVAIL.

Maybe. It could happen. Carpe Carp.


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