ELECTION DAY: Last minute advice for the undecided voter

Igor Siwanowicz

Igor Siwanowicz

There was a colony of insects working out in a field one fall day. There was much work to be done, and tempers were starting to flare.

“Watch where you’re waiving that maxillary palp,” said one beetle.

“Well, we wouldn’t have this problem if your big ol’ rostrum wasn’t in the way,” said the other.

These bugs needed leadership. Two of them emerged from the crowd to seek public support. The first was a much bigger beetle. He ate everyone’s food and then blamed them for not working hard enough to become as large as he was. He then wrote a threatening note to a colony of fire ants in the Middle East field and told a bunch of other smaller bugs to go deliver it for him.

The second was a smaller beetle. He said he’d keep the big guy from taking all the food. His speeches were unnecessarily long and arcane. Many wondered how he would actually stop the bigger beetle from eating all the food, but otherwise he was basically OK.

Which goes to show, you should always vote for the lesser of two weevils.

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