The Great Iron Range Keystone Light Caper

A suspect prepares to break the door of the "Some Beach" liquor store in Hibbing, where he absconded with three cases of Keystone Light. (PHOTO via Hibbing Police Department).

A suspect prepares to break the door of the “Some Beach” liquor store in Hibbing, where he absconded with three cases of Keystone Light. (PHOTO via Hibbing Police Department).

A recent crime story in Hibbing, Minnesota, has nabbed a lot of attention and plenty of social media shares in my circles. Early in the morning on Wednesday, Jan. 28, a man broke through the door of the Some Beach Liquor Store on the southern side of the Beltline near the Eastern European performance art piece known as the Irongate Mall. The burglar stole not one, not two, but three cases of Keystone Light from a display inside before making his getaway.

There’s really nothing left to say but “Keystone Light?” Oh, one can drink Keystone Light. That’s not in question. But when one is willing to commit a fairly serious crime to acquire alcohol, why not aim just a little higher?

According to this Duluth News Tribune story, an employee estimates the value of the three cases of Keystone at $44.99, while the broken door will probably cost more than $2,000 to replace. Police say they have a suspect in custody, but is there a jail in this country that can hold a man like this?

The burglar makes off with his cases of Keystone Light in a daring pre-dawn raid of a liquor store named after a country song in Hibbing, Minnesota. (PHOTO via Hibbing Police Department).

The burglar makes off with his cases of Keystone Light during a daring pre-dawn raid of a liquor store named after a country song in Hibbing, Minnesota. Pictured behind him are shelves and shelves of much better beer. (PHOTO via Hibbing Police Department).

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