The enduring importance of obituaries

The grave of Walter and Dottie Power at Maple Hill Cemetery in Hibbing, Minnesota. Walter and his brother Victor were both early mayors of Hibbing. (PHOTO: Aaron J. Brown)

Aaron J. Brown is an Iron Range blogger, author, radio producer and columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune.

The first assignment they gave me at journalism school was to write my own obituary. It’s a good way to teach the inverted pyramid writing style. That’s where you put the most important information first. Plus, it reminds young journalists that they’re expendable, valuable perspective for the current state of the industry.

The other thing they teach you early in Journalism 101 is that newspapers are the first draft of history. I can attest to this. For more than a year I’ve been researching early Iron Range history through the life of late Hibbing mayor Victor Power. Newspapers provide a starting point for all understanding of the past. These old stories aren’t always right. They carry the biases and ignorance of bygone days, just as will one day be said of our times. But there often isn’t any better way to know our ancestors.

Nevertheless, reading the past through the newspaper also shows that, for many, the newspaper was the first and final draft of their personal history. For many, a printed obituary is the only lasting public record of life. As a researcher, I can’t stress the importance of obituaries to understanding the history of a family. An obituary provides a record of birth and death and the life in between.

That’s why obituaries are so important, and why we’ve got to figure out how to keep them alive — pun intended — going forward.

So here’s how I’ll pitch this to you. You don’t know it, but your great-great-great-great granddaughter or maybe cousin tenth-removed is going to be the President of the United States of the Universe. Exciting! And don’t worry about that “Universe” bit; a lot happens in the 2230s that won’t affect you. I’m sorry you won’t get to meet her, but I can assure you the she and the people who will research her fascinating life story will want to know something about you, your parents and grandparents.

She’ll want to know what you did. They’ll want to know where you lived and when. Everyone will wonder what life was like then (now) compared to the future. A clear, detailed obituary can answer all of these questions, all while helping process natural feelings of grief here and now.

I always prefer honest and direct obituaries.

We are born and we die. Save your word count for details that help us understand the person. For instance, if faith was important to your lost loved one, talk about what they did that shows that, or the experience that helped them believe. What were their endearing habits? What was admirable or interesting about their lives? Describe what they did.

We’ve reached a point where mental illness and addiction are better understood. Therefore we don’t have to use the shorthand or obscuration of the past when dealing with suicide or substance abuse. These are terrible things that can happen to good people.

We also know that people get divorced. Whatever the circumstances we should still remember past marriages in the story of a person’s life, especially when there are children involved.

Perhaps you saw the Southwestern Minnesota story in June where two adult children settled an old family score in a scathing obituary for their mother, even saying “she will not be missed.” This is a good reminder that the person’s life should be at the forefront, not the opinions of the survivors. The death of a family member is not the time to settle scores.

Newspapers have different policies for obituaries. The larger papers usually only run obituaries for prominent, newsworthy individuals. But they do run smaller paid obituaries for everyone else. Smaller dailies might charge for obituaries, though some don’t. Some run so much for free and then charge for longer obituaries. Weekly newspapers often run the obituaries for free.

I’d argue that it’s always important to run an obituary for your loved ones. Emotion often overwhelms us in the moments after a death, especially a tragic or unexpected one. Nevertheless, many people can help you write an obituary, whether it’s the funeral home, a family member, a family friend or colleague. I’ve had the honor of writing obituaries for a handful of people. I’ve always been grateful for this opportunity because it gave me a specific way to help in a time of need.

Heck, it might even be a good exercise to write your own obituary. Or at least the first draft. Save your loved ones the trouble. Plus, as I’ve learned researching the past, no one remembers the past like the people who were there.

Your descendant, the president, and her many biographers will thank you.

Aaron J. Brown is an author and college instructor from northern Minnesota’s Iron Range. He writes the blog MinnesotaBrown.com and hosts the Great Northern Radio Show on Northern Community Radio. This piece first appeared in the Sunday, Aug. 5, 2018 edition of the Hibbing Daily Tribune.