Stay loose, Twins; Lord knows Minnesotans can’t

Work on the book continues. Thus, most of you have gotten used to not hearing much from me here at the blog. Don’t worry, I’m still brewing ideas at my outpost in the woods. You’ll hear more soon enough.

It’s hard to let one item go unmentioned, though. That would be today’s start of the Major League Baseball playoffs featuring our very own Central Division champion Minnesota Twins.

Tonight the Twins play the New York Yankees in Game 1 of a best of five series which starts at Yankee Stadium in New York City.

For the past twenty years the Yankees have represented a sort of “white whale” for the Twins (see above illustration), an antagonist so large and frightful that it dooms us into overreach and self-destruction. After several demoralizing defeats at the hands of the Yankees in the first round of the playoffs, Twins fans enter today having built a strong emotional barrier between themselves and hope for victory.

It’s probably for the best that the Twins are on the road. They don’t need to hear an entire state’s wailing and gnashing of teeth the moment the Yankees put a man on base. The Twins have done exceptionally well on the road this year, better than at home, and perhaps this is why.

If the Twins win this series and go on to have any hope of winning their first championship since I was in the sixth grade they need to play loose. I don’t know how to tell them to loosen up. Frankly, they already seem a lot looser than the rest of us. In fact, it’d be best if the Twins just ignored the fans. You know, the way commercial pilots do when they fly long distances. Let the flight attendants deal with the flop sweat in the back. Just fly, baby.

Land smooth. We’ll clap then.

When the Twins return home from New York for Game 3 (We’re guaranteed at least that much!) they’ll have Trampled by Turtles singing the anthem. Maybe if they play the “And the Dawn’s Early Light” bit super fast we’ll all chill out for awhile.

Go Twins.

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