Minnesota Brown

“Grey’s Anatomy” is a lie, I tell myself. There is nothing less sexy than an actual hospital. Soiled linens. Tubes pumping who knows what into heaven knows where. Some patients gasp for life; others whine for a better breakfast. Beleaguered staff members might collapse in a heap were it not for the slurry of adrenaline…

If an abuser can’t control their partner, they might instead try to control their reality. To control reality is the ultimate power, one easily exploited in the wrong hands.  So it can’t possibly be a good sign that the Merriam-Webster Dictionary lists “gaslight” as its 2022 word of the year. Nor can we be any…

As Dec. 25 approaches, regional writers of my ilk begin searching for whimsical ways to describe a Christmas holiday that so dominates America’s public calendar. In previous years I’ve penned stories about my kids, shared my own Christmas memories or tried my hand at holiday farce.  Obviously not everybody celebrates Christmas in the religious sense,…

I’ve been seeing a lot of cable television ads for motion-detecting LED lights. Apparently, we all desperately need to flood our yards with torrents of photons upon even the slightest provocation. Consider the homeowner’s greatest known threats, a garden-lusting rabbit or a bumbling potential thief (wearing a tight fitting knit cap so you KNOW he’s…

We know the philodendron as a pleasant, low-maintenance plant suitable for shady gardens and indoor display. But have you ever wondered what it could do with a machete? Now we don’t have to guess. Visual artist David Bowen recently rigged some sensors to read the natural electrical impulses of a plant, in this case our…

Back in the 1960s, my grandfather deployed a simple fix for an old septic system prone to freezing during a particularly frigid northern Minnesota winter.  Anyone who’s experienced a frozen septic system knows why this is important. It’s the difference between pouring coffee into a mug and pouring a chocolate milkshake onto the bathroom floor.…

The people of northern Minnesota spend most of the year trying not to hit deer. Our eyes carefully sweep the tall grass along country highways and wooded streets. Reflectors on mailboxes cause us to lay heavy on the brakes, fearful that deer eyes are staring back at us, ready to run out. Quite often the…

Last Tuesday brought to a close a long and fascinating chapter in the political history of northern Minnesota’s Iron Range. A new era now begins. Amid the din of political punditry and the fan of my overused computer, a friend called to tell me that former State Sen. Doug Johnson died that morning at the…

The hallmark of modern life is complexity. How are you? Busy. What’s next week look like? Busy. When’s that going to change? Heart attack, dementia or death, I suppose. I could try yoga but I can’t account for what my digestive system will do if I stretch like that. I could meditate. That actually works.…

Love of country takes many forms. For some, it means flags and oaths, patriotic rites observed on hallowed occasions. Buy a star-spangled t-shirt to show others where you stand. Feel good wearing it. Retailing at $5.99, this shirt traveled farther than most of us will in a lifetime, but we will complain if it costs…